Mayhem Reigns

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My 10 year old nephew is having open heart surgery Tuesday. My fiance of 4 years just threw a fit about my plan to spend the night at my sisters so we can be all ready to leave at ass crack of dawn. Why is this a problem??? Because even after 4 years and an engagement, he still feels like he needs to babysit my vagina.

I have never cheated on anyone in my entire life and somehow I end up with the guys who think they’ll be the special one I decided to cheat on.

Yes. My nephews heart surgery is the perfect ruse to cover up my evil whoring plan!!! Dunnn da dunnn

Filed under men fucking sick thank god I'm bisexual Im at least not stuck with males as my only option vaginas rule he's such an insecure prick why do I have to suffer just because you think your dick is small?? it isnt but all that matters is what HE thinks

22,120 notes

literarysins:

In light of the 50 Shades of Grey trailer coming out today, quick reminder that that book is about an abusive and controlling relationship, not BDSM.

Fanfiction (published or not) is important for women of all ages to explore gender roles and sexuality in a way that is less stigmatized and more accessible. 

But do not do the BDSM community a disservice by calling the relationship described in the book a BDSM experience. 

(via assassinslover)

Filed under thank you jesus fuck thank god someone said it 50 shades of grey is sick bullshit

430,890 notes

discipleofkreia:

seekingmybeloved:

badreputations:

golden-gang:

videohall:

This girl is insane, I think

> It gets stranger and stranger as it goes.

> Her neighbors must hate her.

what are you talking about this was the best thing ever.

This is so wonderfully odd i have to reblog it everytime.

WHAT

THE

HECK

I love this girl.

I always thought their jingle needed a TOTALLY FUCKING AMAZING REMIX!!!!!!

who works on their marketing team?? MAKES THIS HAPPEN!! seeing this on my TV instead of their shitty ass commercial would make me actually call them to steam shit.

(via assassinslover)

1,059,445 notes

catharticcruella:

catharticcruella:

catharticcruella:

zekedms:

catharticcruella:

tonyhawksprolurker:

whitepeoplesaidwhat:

crystaltokyogorepolice:

teenagemutantnegroturtle:

ask-aphsiberia:

mr-pond-parties-in-the-impala:

cosbyykidd:

It’s worked for white people, I figured I might as well give it a shot.

GET THIS GUY TO DISNEY WORLD DAMN IT

I want you to go man!

if this was a white girl this would have had the notes 3 weeks ago

People are sending him racist messages telling him it’s not gonna happen and he doesn’t belong in Disney World over this post. So we’re gonna reblog it even more.

Get this boy to Disney world

DIDNEY WORL

We’re going to get to 700,005 by tonight!

This has shot up 100k a day for the last few days I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Keep it up!

Let’s hit 800,005 tonight!

900,005 tonight!

catharticcruella:

catharticcruella:

catharticcruella:

zekedms:

catharticcruella:

tonyhawksprolurker:

whitepeoplesaidwhat:

crystaltokyogorepolice:

teenagemutantnegroturtle:

ask-aphsiberia:

mr-pond-parties-in-the-impala:

cosbyykidd:

It’s worked for white people, I figured I might as well give it a shot.

GET THIS GUY TO DISNEY WORLD DAMN IT

I want you to go man!

if this was a white girl this would have had the notes 3 weeks ago

People are sending him racist messages telling him it’s not gonna happen and he doesn’t belong in Disney World over this post. So we’re gonna reblog it even more.

Get this boy to Disney world

DIDNEY WORL

We’re going to get to 700,005 by tonight!

This has shot up 100k a day for the last few days I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Keep it up!

Let’s hit 800,005 tonight!

900,005 tonight!

(via shootingseestras)

74,628 notes

juspeczyks:

Remember limewire

Remember sometimes getting the song you were actually looking for and sometimes getting an mp3 of bill clinton saying that he didn’t have sexual relations with that woman instead

why hello college, how great of you to turn back up…dear god I’m old

(via vivacosima)

120,320 notes

throh:

anacane:

throh:

i love that marshmallow girls post. fat girls in japan get called marshmallows. fat girls here get called land whales and hamplanets. i wanna be a marshmallow.

How about dropping the insults, the cutesy names AND the weight? Then you can call yourself a healthy girl.

how about dropping a bag of dicks all the way down your throat, one by one. a whole bag. eat an entire bag of dicks.

(Source: throh-moved, via jamborii)

Filed under that is a shit ton of dicks